Re-emerging

I’ve not been doing much with the course for a good number of months now.

Last year I set out to do a number of running and triathlon events. I managed to complete the London Marathon, not in my best ever time but it was the hottest race day they had on record.

My first triathlon of the year, and one of the ones I had set as a must do, ended early on when I crashed my bike about 7 miles into the bike course. Although my injury wasn’t that bad and I could have been patched up, the only way to get medical attention was to return to the race headquarters, which put paid to my day.

From there things got worse, I struggled to find the motivation to train, and spiralled downwards.

In the end, days before my second must do race, I went to my GP and asked for help. In return for anti-depressants I handed over a large number of painkillers I’d collected to use to end my life. I also went to the hospice where my son Rhys had passed away and asked for bereavement counselling, something I’d denied I need since he died.

That point was a wake-up call and I finally accepted that I’d tried to do too much, put too much pressure on myself. Partly as a way to hide away from the loss of someone who was my whole world.

I decided that I needed to take a huge step back and just focus on a couple of things for a while so with the OCA’s agreement I took a break from my studies.

In the autumn I signed up with a triathlon coach who is linked to the tri club I’m a member of and, with him and another coach’s help, have been focussing on training for a long term objective and something I promised Rhys before he died.

In March I’ll be returning to Cyprus and the triathlon training camp I went to last year. At the end of that week I’ll be taking part in a middle distance (or half Ironman) triathlon at Ayia Napa. During the rest of the year I’ll be racing another 3 middle distance triathlons (Ironman 70.3 Finland, Immortal Half: Stourhead and The Woburner).

Next year I’ll be racing both the Outlaw Half middle distance races in Nottingham and Holkham and then stepping up to long distance (full  Ironman) and racing The Outlaw.

It’s taken me a while to get into the swing of training, this week was the first time I’ve completed every single planned session. The coming months are going to see my training workload increasing as I get closer to my A races for the year but I’m at that point where I feel I can get back into my photography and start working towards finishing the course.

Happy New Year to everyone, and it’s good to be back.

5 thoughts on “Re-emerging”

  1. Welcome back Jenna, and happy new year.

    I’m so glad that you felt able to approach your gp, ask for help and hand in the medication. To admit your feeling suicidal and ask for help takes so much strength and courage. As does asking for grief counselling. Deep respect to you.

    I admire your level of fitness, and it’s wonderful that Rhys is a motivating factor in your training, events and wellbeing. Such a positive legacy that he has left you.

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  2. Thanks for sharing this update. Last year must have been so tough with a myriad of emotions. The pressure to cope and ‘be adult’ about it is so great; often from within ourselves. Good for you to seek help and open up. I admire your training programme. That takes full commitment. Welcome back and looking forward to seeing more blog updates.

    Like

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